Hate is a strong word..

So I'm not going to use it, even though the amount of emotion running through my body right now makes me want to use "hate" (along with a slew of other 4-letter words), but I won't.

I will, however, tell you the things I dislike.

I dislike when people complain about things they could easily fix themselves. Life isn't going to hand you anything, you have to work for it. God helps those who help themselves.

I dislike when people say mean things to you to make themselves feel better. It's not my fault you have low self-esteem. Please don't take it out on me.


I am tired of worrying about pleasing everyone else, so from now on, I'm only going to worry about me. To hell with everyone else.


I'm too angry to even think straight, so that is all for now.

you'd better start swimming or you'll sink like a stone

...the only problem is that I don't feel much like swimming.

right now is one of those times where I realize that I am not happy. No, that's not how I meant it to sound. I'm not content. Not satisfied with the way my life is right now. I'm just not sure what I can do to change it.

Neglect

My dog chews everything.

She poops on the floor while my roommate and I are at work.

Today she chewed birth control pills.

I was really worried, because I'm at work, and I'm about to find out if I'm getting a promotion or not, and I was afraid I would have to leave and jeopardize that, but I love my dog so much, it would have been my only choice. Luckily the vet said she should be fine. And Nichole is home.

But she still poops on the floor when we're gone.

And she still chews up everything.

And I know that it's because I am not home as much as I should be to give her the attention she needs, and the thought of that makes me want to cry, because I don't ever want her to be lonely. I think it's the same way a child acts out and misbehaves in order to get attention from neglecting parents.



Am I being a neglectful parent?



All I know is that right now I just want to go home and rub her little tummy.




I've been at work since 8am today. It's now 8:49 pm. The show is over at 10:35. I hope to be home by midnight, but I doubt if that will actually happen.



Today my friend called me and asked if I'd seen the new Weezer video, and I hadn't, so I of course youtubed it immediately. If you haven't seen it, I suggest you go check it out. It made me laugh a lot. Also, being on the phone with my friend made me laugh a lot. I don't get to hear his voice as much as I would like. I'm also pretty terrible at keeping in touch with people, so it's mostly my fault I'm sure. That's the case with a few of my friends, and It makes me feel like a bad friend.



Am I a bad friend AND a neglectful mother?



I know I'm neither of those things. At least I hope so... Maybe I'm just trying to convince myself.